Wednesday, August 17, 2011

An ode to the sports card bloggers that I follow (and some who follow me)

Friends, I've had quite a lot of fun following your blogs over the past few weeks (and there's a lot that I do follow).  I have had some extra time the past few days while not feeling up to par, so I decided to write a little short story to have some fun/promote those that I follow in the blogosphere.  I tried to catch everybody, so if I missed you, I apologize.  (NOTE:  I am not a professional writer, so bear with me here)

     My wife came into my den around 4 pm yesterday, and said to me you have a cardboard problem.  All she could see was stacks of baseball/hockey/football players, literally cards on cards.  I said hun, it's my passion, that literally started with my hockey card obsession many years ago.  She looked at me and said you should spend less on your hobby, why don't you try doing some cheap card collecting.  I told her "I'm trying to keep it to a $30 a week habit (shameless plug), but I can't help it, because baseball cards rule".  My wife looks at me and laughs, she then called me a waxaholic and left the room.  As she was leaving, she told me to make sure the den was clean, and to make the den cleaner I would have to pick up all the crinkly wrappers lying around.

     I later invited her out to dinner and a baseball game, to which she gladly accepted.  We decided to do Mexican, because our local place serves a platter we enjoy called a nachos grande.  The waitress asked if we wanted dessert, but we said no because most of their desserts tasted like stale gum, so we left.  As we left, I looked at her and said, "you know what, we should have had Japanese, because there's a restaurant nearby called Nomo's sushi platter

     As we left the restaurant, I grabbed the local newspaper, and we headed off to the game.  While my wife drove, I read the headlines.  First of which was about the local archaeological dig which turned up nothing, because there were no relics pulled.  The diggers were hoping to find a pirates treasure room, but all that wound up happening is a bunch of red birds flew out of the hole, literally speaking they were cards from the quarry.  The next page I turned to was the editorial page, which had an unusual header, called "rants, reviews and fandom",  I wasn't too sure if I should read the column, so I moved to the sports page, where the first article I saw talked about the local ball team trading their star player to a team called the Wolves for a bunch of players to be announced next week, or a pack to be named later.

     We finally arrived at the stadium, and once inside it reminded me of the sandlot where I played baseball as a kid.  The PA announcer announced both of the starting lineups, and when he finished I thought to myself, "Wow, these teams have too many Grandersons".  Then the game starts, and my wife says to me "hun, look at the guy at bat, he's hideous, he looks like a Troll at the plate!  I laughed and we went on to enjoy the rest of the ball game.  As we left the game, we saw a guy wearing a tweed jacket keying a vintage car.  I took a good look at the elbow patches on the jacket, and realized that they weren't original , but they were made later and sewn on.  I think to myself here, "I'm looking at some manupatches and chrome scratches."  The guy turned the car from mint condition to condition poor

     The wife and I decided to end our night out by going to our favorite ice cream shop.  Next to the shop was a magazine stand, so I decided to buy a sports mag.  I open it up while we're waiting and turn to an article about Cal Ripken Jr, and I think to myself  "O" no, another Orioles blog, but I realize then that I'm reading a magazine, not a computer nope, no blog.  My wife felt something stuck under the table, and I said, "Oh, that's just the community gum".  She gave me a disgusted look and said you have nothing but jokes right, and I told her I have a sports card blog to go with those jokes. 

     We left the shop and headed home.  I was so tired, I fell asleep quickly and started having a crazy dream.  I was in a Twilight Zone episode called the lost collector.  I wandered around a place I'd never heard of, called Indianaland, for quite a long time until I woke up in a cold sweat.  My wife asked me if I was OK, and I said yea.  She asked me why I thought I had this dream, and I said it was one of two reasons, I either saw a night owl, or it was just my sports obsession.  She said are you sure you haven't paid a visit to trader crack lately?  I told her to hush up and went back to sleep.....THE END

(I hope you all didn't moan and groan too much while reading this, to be honest it was fun to do, and it is my tribute to a lot of good sports card blogs out there.  Yes, I guess you could say I am one of many card geeks)


  1. Bravo! (and thanks for the mention/follow)!

  2. Nice work! Very creative. I'm glad I found you today and got a shout out!

  3. Beautiful work and a very creative idea. Especially with some of the tougher blog titles to work into a story, like mine.

  4. dude... you have waaaay too much time on your hands! :)

  5. This was awesome, nice job. I wanted to see an updated version when you get to 100 followers.

  6. I was wondering how you would tie my blog into this post! Nice job!